Last night I gave a speech. As I started, I explained to the audience that instead of reading a pre-prepared speech as I usually do, I'd decided to speak off the cuff because of two conversations I had last week.
The first conversation was with someone I've known for a long time. He said to me, "Fiona, it's only in the last three years that I feel like I really know you. I always thought you were nice, but you always seemed so closed." The second conversation was with a widow I only met recently. She said that whilst she had been given my phone number not long after her husband died last year, she hadn't felt comfortable to contact me until I wrote a post in 2lookup a few months ago about how I was going through a tough period. "I realised you weren't all about the positive stuff. That you also still have bad days. And that made me feel normal." These two conversations, one from someone I've known for a long time and one who is a more recent friend, reminded me once again of the power of connection, and how when we are open and honest with other people it allows them to be open and honest not just with us, but perhaps with themselves too. And so I decided last night to not hide behind the mask of words on a page, and to actually live a lyric I love.... I "undressed my mind and dared them to follow". And follow they have. Since last night I've received a couple of messages from people who were there. They've been willing to take their masks off to me, and have shared some of the darkest fears they have, and some of the traumas they have faced. One wrote honestly about a longstanding fear of death, another wrote to me about how unfair life can feel sometimes when some people seem to have it all but she has lost so much. And several others wrote to say that this idea that I spoke about last night that every yes I've been willing to say in the last three years has led me to the next yes would now guide them too. In fact, the only things I've regretted in the last three years have been the things I said "no" to, or the implicit "no" that came from words I've left unspoken. Every yes really does lead to the next yes... Nothing starts with no. Connection to others, being willing to be more grateful for what we have than sad for what we don't have, challenging ourselves to change... all of it starts with saying yes. And as important as it is to take off our masks and truly connect with and be inspired by others, the best part about taking a moment every day to look up and think about what we want to say yes to is that it gives us the power to inspire ourselves. Say yes. ---- Is it a coincidence that today was my first day writing from One Roof co-working space and this is the sign in their kitchen? I don't think so. Follow the signs that lead you forwards.
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Marcus leaves his mobile phone in Australia and needs someone to bring it to him in the US. He posts his problem in a Facebook group and asks if anyone is coming to the US in the near future and would be willing to bring it to him. Amazingly Sarah, a stranger to Marcus, agrees and a few days later Marcus has his phone in his hand. Seems a little nuts to me that someone would offer to take an electronic device for someone on a plane, but great, it worked out well. Nice story.
A few months later, Kelly leaves her laptop in the overhead baggage compartment on a plane on a flight from NYC to LAX. She realises as soon as she boards her next flight to Melbourne but it's too late, and by the time she lands in Melbourne it could be anywhere. But, amazingly, her laptop is located. However, LAX Airport won't ship it to her. It has to be collected in person.... And she lives in Melbourne, not exactly around the corner from LAX. She posts her problem in a Facebook group, and asks if anyone is going to be at LAX in the next week or so and whether they would be willing to bring back her laptop for her. Amazingly, a stranger to Kelly agrees and a week later, Kelly has her laptop in her hands. Seems a little nuts to me that someone would offer to take a laptop of all things for a stranger on a plane, but great, it worked out well. Nice story. A few months later, Sarah and Kelly who are friends are chatting about these separate nice stories. And as they are chatting, they realise that it was the same person - Marcus - who was both the owner of the phone and the bringer of the laptop. True story. What are the chances? What are the chances that Sarah would happen to see the post about Marcus' phone and be available the next day to take it with her to the US. What are the chances that Kelly's laptop would actually be found after being left on a plane? What are the chances that Marcus would be available to bring the laptop back to Kelly? What are the chances that Kelly and Sarah would each be separately talking about these stories, and then have figured out that Sarah's Marcus and Kelly's Marcus were the same guy! What are the chances? I'm no mathematician but I suspect that once you add up all these coincidences and chances, the probabilities of it all coming together were pretty slim.... I'm conflicted by the idea of coincidence and chance and whether people are meant to come in and out of your life for a reason and all of that. Sometimes I'm a believer, and sometimes I think it's all rubbish. But the thing is, the crux of this story actually has nothing to do with chance at all... and everything to do with trust. Because if Sarah and Marcus had said "that seems a little nuts" instead of "sure I'm happy to help" the chances are pretty definite that none of this would have happened. And in a world that seems to have gone mad, when we struggle to trust our neighbours, let alone anyone who looks moderately different to us, let alone a stranger from the internet... In that kind of world, we need more people like Marcus, Kelly and Sarah. * All names have been changed to protect the identities of these lovely people |
AuthorFiona is a writer, consultant to government and not for profits and former cynic turned yogi. Archives
June 2017
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