A few days ago I had some time for a little reading with this for a view... (Monet much?)
A friend had given me the book How to Win Friends and Influence People in the context of a difficult conversation I need to have with someone about work, but it was a sentence completely extraneous to the core messages of the book that really struck a chord with me. Hamlet: There's a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will. And as I sat here I realized it's a dilemma I've been thinking about now for close to 3 years. The paradox of free will vs fate. Choice vs chance. Destiny vs sometimes shit just happens. At this time of year, especially on social media, there's a lot of talk about changing or choosing your fate. Good things are going to happen. Everything will come to you at the right time. Kick ass and make 2017 your year. These new year messages seem to go one of two ways - Im going to make it happen vs the universe will make it happen. Either way, I suspect only the most naive of people would think that they will end up at the end of the year where they thought they would be at the start. Because stuff happens. Stuff you can control and stuff you cant... I've learned that the stuff you can control is available to you always - completely non dependent on anything or anyone else that may or may not happen around you - because its the internal stuff. Its the awareness you bring to the table of what you are doing, why you are doing it and where you want to go. Basically its the underlying premise of #2lookup - the knowledge that how you look at things changes what you see. Im not saying its easy. I struggle every day to turn off my inner-worrier which can make things seem darker than they are. If I worry enough, predict enough, second guess enough, surely I can put a protective - almost godly - shield over my loved ones? Yes.... This is clearly an internal trait I need to learn to control... Because as the author of the book put it: "it isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it." And you know what? There is nothing pre-destined or best left to chance in that. I have absolute control over my own thoughts even if nothing else. So maybe there's no paradox after all between free will and fate. Since we are probably never going to know for certain whether there is a divinity which shapes our ends, perhaps its just this simple... Be grateful for what you already have. Work hard to obtain what you want. Be open to the moments when "the universe" (or perhaps your heart) seems to be showing you something, without trying to predict or forestall whatever it is. And be ready to accept what actually comes your way - the good, the bad and the extraordinarily beautiful. And the main message of the book... if you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive; or as my friend who gave me the book would say, Just Be Nice. If there IS actually some sort of divinity which defines our future then surely it will reward that attitude; and if there isn't, then the people you are nice to will just have a better day for it. And so will you.
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AuthorFiona is a writer, consultant to government and not for profits and former cynic turned yogi. Archives
June 2017
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